Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An Australian batsman putting on sunscreen.
Q. What is the main function of the Australian Coach?
A. To transport the Team from the hotel to the ground.
Q. Why don’t Australian fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.
Q. What’s the Australian version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten and Walloped.
Q. What do you call an Australian with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.
Q. What’s the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Ponting?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.
Q. Who has the easiest job in the Australian squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.
Q. What do Australian batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.
Q. Why are Australian cricketers cleverer than Houdini?
A. Because they can get out without even trying.
Q. What does Ryan Harris put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat